life can be so hard at times. i was meant to be going on a trip with my boyfriend and another couple in our campa van (well his and his friend) and then just befor we are meant to be going we have a huge argument, i was so upset, he was so horrible. the whole time whilst he was shouting i was thinking ok dont get mad just use this in a positive way to stop eating. basically i didnt go on the trip. as i was sitting there thinking ok well there is no food in the house so this is the perfect opputunity to have a fast he came back with a pie, and food for me to eat whilst he was gone! he was so upset with the way he was with me.

anyway he went and i sat looking at this pie, thinking i could be strong, then thinking just one bite, i had like 5 bites though! ugg. with each bite i felt sick with myself.

tomoro is a new day so im hoping to do better.

feeling a bit like i have failed! i really am trying to stay strong. i started out great today, all had up untill 6:00pm was ice water and coffee. but then my boyfriend came back to our flat and cooked a late lunch, a late lunch for god sake, that implies that we are gonna have dinner later as well! :( im feeling so sick now.

today i feel good, i feel strong and i think i can avoid all contact with food.
im going to go do some exercise and then tidy the house. if i must eat it will be no more then 250 cal today! just thinking that makes me feel stronger!